Comforting Reflections: When Allah Claims Your Heart.

It is said that the sin of taking and dealing with Ribaa is one of the worst sins that man can commit. So much so that Allah Says in the Qur’an: ”Those who eat Riba will not stand (on the Day of Resurrection) except like the standing of a person beaten by Shaytan leading him to insanity.’ Ibn `Abbas said, “On the Day of Resurrection, those who consume Ribaa will be resurrected while insane and suffering from seizures.”

So why was this punishment chosen for one of the major sins prohibited by Allah?

Because being ‘tapped’ by the Shaytaan…is by far one of the worst and most painful experiences that a human can go through. That a Muslim can go through. Because we are believers in the Oneness of Allah, our Beautiful Rabb and we are the lovers of obeying Him. So imagine how we feel being possessed by beings inside of us who are the complete opposite to our beliefs? Who love Shirk, disobedience, lewd actions and every sin imaginable; who love to taunt you with your weakest points and scare you with your worst fears. Who wish nothing but grief for you. Who wish for you to be far and far from Allah as far the East is from the West. It makes me cry in sadness. And I know you cry too.

Our Salah is no more with Khushu. Our Duas are tainted by static evil thoughts. Our tears are blocked by the evil hands of devils. And the chambers of our heart are clogged by doubtful thoughts, evil whispers and a numb throb that never leaves. We no longer smile in peace. Or sleep in peace. Or sit in peace. Or even cry in peace.

Except for glimpses. Yes, there are glimpses of how we once were. Of a time before this war began. It could be after reciting much of the Qur’an. Or after crying profusely to Allah. Or it can happen when you stumble upon a verse that hits you as if it were meant only for you.  We get glimpses of peace, away from this turmoil that we call ‘Possession’.

When we realize that….Allah is so close to us.

There was a time when I was entirely consumed by depression and evil whispers of the Jinn. I had almost given up on life- or what life I had because I already felt like a corpse. Numb and emotionless. Overcome by grief, I cried and cried to Allah to just give me a moment of happiness again. I so desperately wished for some relief.

And by the miracle of Dua alone, the next day I woke up as if I was not afflicted at all. I smiled. SubhanAllah I smiled. I laughed with my family. I took great gulps of fresh air, letting tranquility overtake me. My eyes even watered with thankfulness.

And I knew with certainty that this was from Allah.

A reflection…

‘And when My servants ask you, [O Muhammad], concerning Me – indeed I am near. I respond to the invocation of the supplicant when he calls upon Me.’

‘Indeed I am near’ – Wallahi, this Ayaah resonates inside of my heart and I hold it close to me in my darkest moments. And here, Allah Addresses Himself as ‘I’ and not ‘We’ which He, Subhana Wata ‘ala only Uses in cases of extreme Love. All of us have experienced something at some point in our life- a sudden inspiration that tells you…Allah is With you. It could be when your Dua is answered. It could be when a friend comforts you exactly when you needed it. Or when a neighbor gives you some food that you were craving right that minute. Or just a light whisper telling to ‘keep going’.

This is clearly from Allah Subhana Wata ‘ala Who Promised to answer every Dua.

A reflection…

He also promised something else:

‘For indeed, with hardship comes ease. Indeed, with hardship comes ease’ (Surah Sharh).

So why do we panic when hardship knocks on our door? Because we forget the Promises of Allah and we end up relying upon creation and nothing seems more greater than our problem and our enemies. Even though we echo ‘AllahuAkbar’ in every Salah! So what does Allah Subhana Wata ‘ala mean by this ayaah? How can hardship and ease be coupled together?

Let me ask you. You are possessed and probably been possessed for years yet you are somehow still alive yes? You somehow find strength to continue. You even fight this affliction even though you are probably overwhelmed by this world of the unseen. I am sure you will also remember times when it didn’t seem so bad. Or when people supported you at the right time. And you somehow found extra Rizq just when things were getting desperate right? And how did you come to know of this affliction? Who directed towards knowing about this affliction is and guiding you towards the path of Shifaa?

Allah did. This is His ease for you in this hardship- hardship was not given except with a ship to sail through its strong waves. The fact that you are reading this page is a direction from Allah to remember His Promises again. To remember His nearness. To remember that which the Shayateen wish for you to forget.

A reflection…

Therefore if the pains of this world tire you do not grieve. For it may be that Allah wishes to hear your voice by way of dua. So pour out your desires in prostration and forget about it and know, that verily Allah does not forget it.” 

Ibn al Qayyim (rahimahullah).

Many times, we deem actions as cruel or a withholding when really they are actions of love by the ones who love us. When our Mother would stop us from going out alone at night, it was because she cared for our safety. Or when our Father pushed us in exams, it was because He wished for us to do succeed. And when a thorn pricked you…it was only so your sins could be forgiven.

So when Allah Subhana Wata ‘ala Wills a hardship to fall upon you, it is never to hurt you. Or to make you fall to the ground. And if you did fall to the ground- it was only so you could find Sujood. Allah Loves us so much that He wishes us to be so close to Him all the time. And sadly, many of us only draw close to Him when we are afflicted by a hardship. How ungrateful we became…

And how else could we be purified from the stains of our sins if not by the washing of our tears? 

Had we really contemplated on how Allah Azza Wajal plans the Best for us, we would panic less and have tawakkul more. We would feel defeated less and feel surety more. We would humbly accept our hardships as a warning from Allah- that we had distant ourselves from Him so He was merely calling us back.

And we should run back. Through patience, through Salah, through steadfastness, through Qur’an, through high hopes and through Dua. Come on, my Brothers and Sisters, run back to Him because our solace only lies in Him. Subhana Wata ‘ala…You are as You have Praised Yourself.

A reflection…

“Had Allah lifted the veil for His slave and shown him how He handles his affairs for him, and how Allah is more keen for the benefit of the slave than His own self, his heart would have melted out of the love for Allah and would have been torn to pieces out of thankfulness to Allah. 

So have heart my afflicted Brothers and Sisters. I feel your pain. I understand your sadness. But we have Allah and He is sufficient for us to carry us through this and He Will heal our hearts. You just need to reflect, remember and reconnect. In sha Allah.

 

I cried while writing this. Not because of the pain that creation gives me. But, because of the Love that my Creator Gives me.

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