Leaving the wing of a Mosquito: A True Love Story.

Let me tell you a love story. And this is no ordinary love story about two human beings falling in love with each other and spending their immortal lives together. This is a story that goes beyond this transient earthly life. This is neither about the indescribable bond between a parent and child that almost has no bounds. No conditions. Where a Mother would sacrifice herself for her child if it became necessary.

No, rather this is a story about you and the One whose love has no bounds or limits at all. Who in fact, gave you life, after life, after life. In the womb, on the earth and an everlasting one that is waiting for you. Whose love for you is so powerful that He, Subhana Wata ‘ala, overlooks your mistakes, your sins and your downright disobedience every time you merely repent. Who cares not for how you look or what you wear but looks inside at the beauty of your heart.

He is the One Who stays close to you as a kind Companion when everyone else leaves you abandoned and alone. Who understands the language of your tears, your inner sorrow and constant worries. Who catches you every time you fall even when that fall was most likely a direct disobedience of Him.

Allah Says: And whoever comes to Me walking, I will go to him running. And whoever faces Me with sins nearly as great as the earth, I will meet him with forgiveness nearly as great as that, provided he does not worship something with Me.’

And yet…we fell in love with the wing of a Mosquito? This life?

You know, when we were young and youthful, our minds were full of ideas for the future and our bodies were brimming with energy waiting to be expended. We cared little for responsibilities, duties or fulfilling commands set out for us.

‘Later, I will do it later because right now I am living life…’.

And so we turned away from the greatest Love in our lives and turned to the Dunya to try and satiate the thirst for happiness and self contentment. It all seemed so enchanting and glamourous. How deluded our souls were! Thus, internal conflicts began within us and our chapters were filled with ink etched with pain and confusion. Words of confusion and want. The sadness grew inside of us. Discontentment. Stress. Anxiety. Emptiness. But, out of His Magnificent Mercy and Generosity, what did Allah do?

He sent down an enclosed gift wrapped in trials, hardship and fright.

So what was the gift inside?

Let me take you to another story. A story that you are familiar with, that many of you can relate to. I was also one of the culprits who fell for the wing of the Mosquito. I half heartedly worshipped Allah as I had little understanding. Little passion. Little love. I wasn’t a bad Muslim, but I wasn’t a particularly good one either. I, like many other betrayers had turned more towards the delights of this world and forgot why I was really here. Who I really was. Who really loved me.

And then on a day that I will never forget, I was struck with a guttural pain that seared and teared at the very core of my being. I can not describe it in any other way. The realization of being possessed by devils electrocuted me and I shivered in shock. Eyes wide in gaping horror as I spent every day after this in struggle, confusion and pain. I was losing my mind. I was losing control of my body. I lost my chances at a career or a normal life. I lost my family. I was forced to leave my home after almost being strangled to death. My sleep was disturbed. My smile gone. My peace a distant memory. And I didn’t feel safe anymore.

Little did I know that I was being woken from the deepest slumber of my existence. Yes the finest things of life were taken away from me.

So I could appreciate the finer gifts that He wished to give me.

So what was in the gift box?

Sabr.

Pure exhilarating Sabr. The ability to wrap myself in warm blankets of Sabr when the evilest of Jinn attack me. To taste it in my tears when sorrow overtakes me. To feel it calm my heartbeats when worries engulf me. And to soothe my shivers when I fear abuse in the dark.

Our Beloved Says:

‘And give glad tidings to those who have patience. Those who if in any difficulty or trial, or tribulation occurs to them, they say: ‘Verily We belong to Allah and to Allah we return.’ They are those who will receive prayers from their Lord and Mercy and it is those who are guided.” Surah Baqara.

I was given this gift box on the onset of my Sihr and Jinn affliction but I didn’t bother opening it because I was consumed with worry and panic. I failed to understand what Allah Subhana Wata’ala was trying to tell me. It was only after a year of distress, hard lessons, tears and constant help from Allah that I finally understood.

That this was never about Sihr. Or Jinn. Or hardship. It was just a simple love story.

I had strayed. I had turned myself towards something so insignificant and meaningless: this Dunya. Who is not more worthy or important than the wing of a Mosquito. And because of this I was straying at the edges of a dangerous rocky cliff that could collapse any moment. And I could fall into darkness.

Yet, Allah the Most Merciful, decided to save me. Out of Love. He pulled me out, just in time whilst I still have breath. He showed me love in a way that I simply cannot put to words. But, I can show you through tears when I remember what He has done for me. But, who can understand these tears except only Allah Himself? I find no words to thank Him so I write my thanks in my tears, hoping it will count for something.

So yes, I finally opened this gift that I had neglected and I embraced it. I embraced the true meaning of Sabr and I turned away from the illusion that this life fed me. In fact, I swatted away the wing and turned my attention towards the Creator of all wings. Of all creation. Allah.

I learnt that the purpose of this trial was not to just find the cure, it was to find Allah, my true Love. And if it took all this struggle, pain and tears then it was worth it. And as for the cure? That will come soon, in good time. I know it. Because Allah Subhana Wata’ala is so Merciful that He is too shy to turn our hands away empty handed. And I raise my hands to Him for me and you and all those who are afflicted.

So why did I tell this story? Because I wasn’t the only character in it. You are in it too. Allah is calling you back to Him as well. You also have a gift to open so that you can also understand what Allah is Saying to you. So that you can also find contentment and strength amidst this difficult trial. I implore you to open it and find beautiful gifts.

Beautiful gifts from the One Who Loves you.

“Those who patiently persevere will truly receive a reward without measure!” (az-Zumar 39:10).