After the realization that all of this turmoil could be related to Magic, I ran to my sister and told her what I thought. And she like me, disagreed at first. It just seemed too impossible. Too barbaric and backwards. Too distant. But didn’t the Diaries of the Exorcist videos describe cases that were happening right now in the UK? Eventually, my Sister could see the possibility that she was afflicted with Magic. It was a hard pill to swallow but atleast we could try to resolve it, in sha Allah. So we used the Ruqyah Audio CD and a Ruqyah booklet that we originally got for our Mother to begin the ruqyah process. It was almost ironic that the very material we bought for the remedy of someone else, we ended up using it for ourselves. And that is the way of life. You never know what trial can befall you so we should always be prepared.
My Sister would listen to the audio alone and I would then recite from the booklet- it contained many ayahs from different Surahs. I learnt that these were the Ayaat of Ruqyah that affect the Jinn the most. We tried this for a few months and nothing significant really happened. Apart from some burping and slight pins and needles. From our naive preconceptions, we were expecting ghoulish Jinns to start screaming and shouting from the beginning. For lights to suddenly start switching off and for doors to slam shut. Like we had seen in Ruqyah videos or old horror movies. It’s shocking how ignorant we were on this subject. Yet, Allah Subhana Wata ‘ala Specifically Gave us this specific test, why? Because, perhaps it was time for us to learn.
You will notice that patients don’t usually react significantly at the beginning. As the Jinns usually be dormant and hidden. They are healthy and have their ‘strength’. They try their best not to ‘surface’ because then the reality of Magic is exposed and then it’s easier to get rid of it. They want you to think that you have gone crazy. They want you to think that it’s a medical illness. They want you to think anything as long as you don’t figure out that it’s Magic. Sihr. Afflicted upon on you by an evil human Shaytaan, a Saahir. Magicians are disgusting lowly creatures who don’t wish to be exposed nor do they wish for their victims to realise their evil handiwork. They hide behind an innocent mask and secretly make the Magic to harm you A’uthoo Billah. Even the Magicians themselves know that they are committing a heinous crime, acts of kuffar and disgusting rituals to please the Shaytaan. Such as bathing in feces and urine for days, sacrificing chicken and lathering their face in the blood or defacing the Qur’an in the worst ways, A’uthoo Billah. It is both sickening and frightening that humans can stoop to such a level. It makes you wonder what level can individuals stoop to, to get a portion of this Dunya. Even the Shaytaan himself will tell the Magician that this is clear Kufr that he is entering, because the he wishes for the Magician to completely enter the state of disbelief- it is most pleasing to these devils.
After voicing our frustrations to a close friend that we haven’t noticed any real reactions, she suggested getting Hijama (Cupping) done as this was known to help patients of Magic. Hijama as many of you will know, is very well known in the Sunnah in helping health conditions and more importantly, Magic problems. The Prophet, sallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said, “The best treatment you have is cupping.” (Muslim). The Shayateen detest Hijama because this process draws blood through the thin superficial cuts on the skin. Almost opening a doorway for dirt, toxins and Jinns to leave. And Jinns don’t want to leave. From previous stories, we had heard that Jinns easily surface in Hijama sessions so we were very hopeful that finally we would see a reaction to definitely pinpoint my Sister’s behaviour with Magic.
As the day of the Hijama approached, I was feeling but nervous and excited. Would the Jinn scream and give in? Would it leave through the blood? Was it possible for my Sister to be cured in a few hours? As I had said before, we were very ignorant about this topic. Little did we know that we were still at the very beginning of this journey, that seeking the cure takes a long time…that we had a lot to learn, yet.
Suddenly my Sister burst into my room as if she had seen a ghost. Or perhaps she had glanced at her own empty reflection and realized how ghostlike she looked now? She looked at me and told me that she wasn’t Muslim anymore and that she was doomed to enter the Hellfire. I tried to calm her down and reassure her that these were irrational feelings, that soon she would get better in sha Allah. I hoped she couldn’t hear the panic in my voice. A huge part of me felt out of my depth. This was just too much of what I didn’t know. I put my hopes in this Hijama session. We drove there in silence, both in our own world of thoughts and worries.
As the Hijama specialist began the cupping procedure, she put Surah Baqara on. I tensed up thinking something is about to surface right now but-
Nothing happened. My Sister was as motionless and silent as ever. She did not react in anyway nor did she even flinch when the small incisions were being made. We went home feeling deflated and frustration. I just wanted a clear confirmation that this was Sihr.
We continued doing our small sessions of self Ruqya- around thirty minutes everyday for the next few months. I admit we did this half heartedly and sometimes in quite a rush. Like I said…we weren’t so knowledgeable on this matter nor did we even know for definite that it was Sihr. Another friend then suggested reciting Surah Yaseen repeatedly as this was a powerful Surah and to spittle into a bowl of water and feed this to my Sister. I started reciting and there didn’t seem to be any reaction. But one hour into the recitation my Sister suddenly started hyperventilating. My heart raced because I thought ‘This is it’, that something is surfacing. I myself was petrified. Like most people I had the preconception of Jinns being scary, powerful and harmful. I continued reciting (even though my voice was shaking) and suddenly my Sister’s right arm started moving up and down by itself. By itself. You can imagine how we were feeling since this was the first experience of the unseen. I actually thought of running from the room.
Alhamdulilaah, I regained my composure and continued reciting. After a couple of hours, I dry spat into some water and made her drink it. She let out a very loud gassy burp that sounded like a gas pipe bursting. I also drank some and burped a little. But I didn’t take much notice of this. I was either in denial or just too scared to admit something that I already knew.
Feeling pleased that we had finally witnessed a physical reaction, we decided to continue reciting to see if the Jinn would die. Yes, we thought the Jinn was going to die any minute now. We thought it was that easy. SubhanAllah. I managed to recite for six hours with breaks in between. And her arm continued to move and shake as if it was in torture, getting more violent by the hour. I would sometimes face myself towards her arm and shout at the Jinn to leave. It almost sounds comical. My Sister also felt very sick and almost vomited. Ah so here was the indication that the Magic had been fed.
Now that we knew for certain that it was Sihr, we began searching for a Raaqi- someone who is trained and experienced in ridding Jinn and Sihr by the Will of Allah. We found one in London who was well known and was said to follow the Qur’an and Sunnah so we decided to book an appointment. We weren’t sure of what to expect but we thought that patients are cured in one session. My Sister was overjoyed and hopeful of returning back to normal. I planned to accompany her for moral support and to also get myself checked out. I mean why not since I will be there? I was sure nothing significant would be found in myself anyway.
We travelled to London with a group of friends and anxiously sat in the waiting room. Well actually it was in someone’s living room in a run down flat. We were actually expecting a hospital type clinic. Anyways we were called into another room and told to sat down to prepare ourselves for the session. The Raaqi entered and asked us what our symptoms were. After giving a quick overview, he began to recite Qur’an. Like before, my Sister’s arm began violently moving up and down. I had seen this before so I wasn’t scared anymore. After some time nothing really happened. Was this really it? When would the Jinn surface? How would it sound? How would the Raaqi get it out. What-
-Suddenly, I felt a strange sensation. A mixed feeling of anger and rage building inside of me…my breathing became heavy and I was gasping. Noticing this, the Raaqi got me to sit more close so he could recite near my ear. I suddenly could not stand the sound of the Qur’an recitation. I felt like I hated it! SubhanAllah what was happening? Before I could even take this in…my own arm starting moving up and down. I will admit this openly- I cried like a baby, in fear and panic. Only those afflicted will know what it is like to feel another being ‘possess’ your limbs for the first time. It is truly a memory that you don’t forget. It is as if your limbs move without your permission. Like an invisible force is moving it. The Raaqi continued reciting and both me and my Sister were distressed and our arms were violently moving now. Part of me was in a state of shock. How could I have Magic? How?
I suddenly had a great urge to vomit, it was so urgent and violent that more tears stung my eyes. I retched into a nearby bin and it was if my insides were coming out. This was no ordinary type of ‘feeling sick’. There wasn’t much vomit that came out but I had the feeling of… ‘something wanting to come out from deep within my stomach’. I had never felt this before. And I did not want to even face what this meant..
The Raaqi stopped reciting after an hour and told us all to rest. He then diagnosed both me and my Sister as having Sihr which seemed to have been fed to us and that we have Jinn residing in our arms.
It has been said out loud.
Sihr. Jinn. Possession.
I just sat there feeling numb and letting this information hit me like a tonne of bricks. It was as if he had told us that we had cancer. Except worse because this was an illness of the unseen involving evil creatures and filthy Magicians. So unknown and scary to us. SubhanAllah how will we cope? What do we do now? How do I sleep at night in the dark?
Many people react in different ways when they are diagnosed. Some go into shock and denial. Some cry profusely until the realization settles in like a calm but heavy breeze. Some are filled with anger and ask the ‘Who? What? Why?’.
Me? I wolfed down a chicken burger and fries. Drowned my sorrows in a can of pepsi. The small joys of comfort eating. I wanted to fill and cover the violent butterflies fluttering in my stomach and numb my mind from even ‘thinking’. We ate and drove back home in silence. Or perhaps I was too exhausted to talk anyway.
I felt like I had been hit by a double decker bus. I felt bruised and battered. Funny. My heart also felt bruised and battered too. Ah here came the tears…I looked out of the window not wanting anyone else to see. Because that would mean having to really accept our diagnosis.
Sihr. Jinns. Possession.
Few quiet hours later, we arrived home. We had both agreed to act as normal as possible because there was no way we could tell our family. All hell would break loose. So we plastered on a fake smile and cheery tone and told our family….nothing.
I somehow dragged myself to my room and sat in my usual place on my bed, overlooking the window. The place I had previously sat when I cried my lungs out with feelings of grief and depression. I noticed something bulging from underneath my pillow so I moved it away and guess what I found?
A large golden mango. I looked at it and cried.
Ah…let me explain the story of the mango. My Father and I have a very close relationship- one where I was his little girl and he was my hero. Needless to say I was his favorite. Though he loved all of his children with all his heart, Alhamdulilaah. A very gentle man with a kind nature, MashAllah. Anyways, every summer when it was the season of mangoes; my Father would always buy boxes and boxes of them. It became a tradition in our household. Perhaps he wanted us to have a taste of something from back home in Bangladesh.
What my siblings didn’t know was that there was another tradition between me and Dad. That he would always secretly choose the biggest mango in the box and store it away for me. Later, he would find me and whisper to me as if he was revealing a top secret. Intrigued, I would follow him to a quiet place and act like I didn’t know what he was going to give me. Humoring him. He would then present me this huge golden mango as if he had traveled across the world and found it in a treasure chest- a sign of pure love. May Allah Subhana Wata ‘ala give him a long righteous life, ameen.
And if he couldn’t find me in the house…he would put it underneath my pillow, almost like a child’s game of hide and seek. Waiting for me to find it when I got home.
Ah but Father…those days of play and innocence and carefree summers are gone now. A dark storm has slowly crept over our family. I knew everything was about to change. I knew the earth beneath us would start to shake. I knew some really bad things were about to happen. The season of innocence has gone.
I looked at the mango again, and cried.