Assalamu ‘alaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakaatuh.
‘’We huddled excitedly around the laptop as the video uploaded, albeit slowly. The long awaited fourth episode of Diaries of the Exorcist had been uploaded online and my sisters and I were eager to watch it. It is a series of video episodes describing real life stories of unfortunate families in the UK who suffer Magic and Jinn possession. I, and most of my friends have been following them. They are very insightful into a world that we knew little about. To hear of actual Jinn possession cases happening in this country was completely unknown to me. I didn’t really know much about Jinns apart from the fact that they were another creation of Allah. I guess I didn’t give much thought to them because we can’t see them. Out of sight, out of mind right?
And as for Magic. Well that backwards stuff only happens in the small villages of the East right? And surely the cases are very rare in this country. Surely.
Or so I thought.
‘Is it on yet?’
‘Your laptop is too slow’
‘Maybe it’s possessed’ I laugh.’
As we began to watch the video, I inwardly thought to myself ‘It must be devastating to be in such a terrifying situation.’ Some of the cases being described were harrowing. Frightful. And almost too surreal to believe. This happens here? In this country as well? SubhanAllah.
But deep down there was an inner voice heaving a sigh of relief. Alhamdulilah we’re not going through such a struggle. Alhamdulilah I’m not possessed by Jinns. I can’t imagine…
Little did I know that I would soon leave my small world of innocence, comfort and calm and I would embark on a journey that would change my life. A journey that would open my eyes to another world, another civilization that have been living among us for thousands of years. Without us really realizing it.
That is until both worlds collide.
Maybe I should introduce myself. I am a sister living in the UK and I am a recent graduate from University. My life was busy job searching, looking after my family and generally living a normal life that a young sister would. My life was quite tranquil Alhamdulilah. Nothing too troubling was affecting me. However, it was Allah’s Will to try me with a test that many of you may not be too familiar with. I have been diagnosed as a sufferer of Magic and Jinn Possession. The type of Magic is one of ‘self destruction’.
This means that I wake up almost everyday not wanting to be alive.
And I have no plausible or realistic reason for it. This means that I have depression symptoms and sometimes suicidal thoughts without a significant event causing this. This means I will wake up in the middle of the night and cry until I am exhausted. And I don’t even know why. I live with Jinns residing inside of my body. Not only is this physically painful but it significantly affects my mind, cognitive thought processes and emotions. I will be ‘myself’ one moment and suddenly I will start to shout and laugh menacingly. That’s not me by the way. Sometimes my limbs will twitch as if they have a life of their own. Well..technically they now do.
SubhanAllah do you know what it’s like to know that an evil being ‘lives’ inside of you and runs through your veins? That another personality surfaces inside of you and sometimes..you forget which part is you and which part is them..?
See this is what Magic does to you. The Magician (the practitioner of Magic) casts a spell on his chosen target with a specific purpose. It may be a ‘spell of separation’ where a husband cannot stand to be around his wife anymore. It can be in the form of a ‘love spell’. Where you suddenly have strange feelings of attraction and love for someone. Usually, Magicians assign Jinn(s) to possess your body and you may not realize its effects straightaway. It could be years before you sense that something is wrong with you. In order to become a Magician, the individual must draw closer to the Shayateen by completing acts that please them. Such as degrading the Qur’an, sacrificing an animal, bathing in feces and urine. Astaghfirullah.
*Note: Not all Jinns are Shaytaan but all Shayateen are Jinns. Jinns have different religions just like Humans and the Shayateen are those who clearly disobey Allah and worship Iblis.
Once, they are close to the Shayateen, they agree to ‘work’ for the Magician and are willing to enter the body of humans and cause harm. They can distort your cognition, make you feel depressed, in love, angry, confused, mentally unstable. Violent. Many symptoms are similar to those of mental and psychological illnesses. Such as Bipolar disorder, Split Personality, Schizophrenia, Epilepsy and Depression. That’s why it is very hard to differentiate what an individual is suffering. Sometimes a person with Jinn possession may be diagnosed as having a mental illness and vice versa. It is a very grey area in a grey world.
I have only recently found out about my situation. But, I have been suffering Magic for over seven years and I had no idea. That’s because Jinns can remain dormant inside your body. That is until you perform Ruqya (recitation of the Qur’an as a means of cure). The Jinns cannot withstand the Qur’an and so they start to ‘react’ in your body.
So that’s why last Ramadhan I felt an intense burning sensation in my arm when I recited the Qur’an for a long time?
All the small discrepancies that I had in the past few years seem to make sense now. The random times I would get angry and cry. The frightful dreams of black snakes. Seeing black shapes in my bedroom at night. Perhaps they were signs from Allah?
As you can imagine I was quite aghast and devastated when I realized that I was suffering from Magic and Jinn possession. At first I went through different phases of emotions. Denial. Confusion. Wanting to seek revenge. A few emotional breakdowns along the way. Comfort eating. Sometimes laughing in bewilderment. Mostly, just very very scared. This was all completely alien to me. I didn’t know the first thing on what to do or how to get help.
Maybe I’m just imagining it all and getting all paranoid for nothing?
The first place I went to for information was the Internet. Sheikh Google. Quite obvious. Alhamdulilah I found some helpful information on how to do Self Ruqya, how to protect yourself against Magic and general factual information.
But, I noticed a lack of real support for patients. Almost all patients (including myself) suffer traumatic experiences, some psychological damage and can become very isolated. But where do we turn? How do we seek support and solace? There was no real forum group support, no counseling offered nor any website offering real life stories to help us through this difficult time. To show us that we are not alone in this.
The only thing close to real life information was the Diaries of the Exorcist episodes that I had watched because they made me feel that I’m not alone. Others are going through the same, if not worst situations. Strangely I had watched these videos around a year before I was diagnosed. But never did I think that I would be living in that same situation myself. Come to think of it I am pretty sure that Allah Subhana wata’ala guided me to watch them. To prepare myself for the coming storm. Because remember, trials in this Dunya are inevitable. But, if you are true believers, Allah Subhana wata’ala will be with you all the way. That’s why I choose to remain optimistic. I choose to continue fighting even though I cannot even see my enemy. I realise that trials in life are a gift.
Yes a gift.
Allah subhana wata’ala gifts you a hard situation to purify you, forgive your sins, teach you beautiful lessons, draw you closer to Him and much much more. All Praise is due to Allah. It is up to us on how we react and what we gain from it.
So after much thought I have decided to tell my story. I think this subject is so unknown to people that many don’t even recognize signs of Magic and Possession. Many don’t know how to react to those possessed around them and many go about the wrong way to seeking a cure.
Alhamdulilah I have learnt incredible lessons on this journey. I have grown as a person. As a Muslim. I have seen the Qur’an come alive in front of my eyes (I will write more about this in my upcoming posts in sha Allah). I felt a closeness to Allah that I never thought possible. I have been through incredible distress and gotten through it. Realising that I had more endurance within myself than I previously thought.
But most of all…I learnt what true Sabr is.
I could write pages and pages on it. Though I won’t do that word justice. Sabr is not something that can be defined and written about in the theoretical form. Sabr cannot be written on a piece of paper. Sabr is something that you must live through and internalize. It must penetrate your heart with clear understanding.. Sabr is a treasured lesson that you must be taught. And the only One who will teach you is off course the Greatest Teacher in the world. Allah.
This is all from me for now. The Shayateen don’t like me writing like this so I am in quite some pain. But hey, it purifies right? 🙂 In sha Allah..
Anyway, I am hoping that someone may benefit from the things that I will write in sha Allah. Maybe a sufferer may feel motivated to continue fighting knowing that there are others like them. Maybe some things will make you appreciate what you have in your life. Some things may make you cry. Or laugh even. Or contemplate deeply. Or at the very least, I wish for you to draw closer to Allah Subhana wata’ala in some way, In sha Allah.
So I invite you to read my stories and take something good from it.
Because I have.
So until next time, wasalamu alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh.
I look forward to your comments below 🙂