Following on from the last post, I could go on at lengths to describe every detail of what happened during the two intense weeks that we spent in Ruqya with the Raaqi. However, some parts are repetitive and some parts I have forgotten (it has been known that memory can get disrupted/damaged due to Sihr).
After a Jinn supposedly left my body through my leg, I did feel instant ease Alhamdulillah. This lasted for around two and half minutes, and then suddenly my heartbeat increased and I could barely breathe properly. I started feeling woozy and ‘possessed’ again. The Raaqi had turned to the other Sister in the hallway who couldn’t stop laughing hysterically, to calm her down and attempted to reason with the Jinn inside her. Sensing that I was getting distressed again, the Raaqi turned to me and realised that I may have a another Jinn inside of me and so spoke harshly to the jinn again. Another Jinn responded. It said the same things as the previous Jinn and again ‘appeared’ to leave through my leg. I write ‘appeared to leave’ in quotation marks as I now realise that Shayateen lie ALOT. They will try every known little trick to fool and deceive you in their desperate attempt to keep you confused and distracted from reciting Quran and destroying them. So in hindsight, there was most likely only one Jinn in my body, who in the end pretended to be seven different Jinns. They claim to have been sent by a Magician to harm me by causing me distress, depression and a mental breakdown. They also expressed their fear that if they do not complete their ‘mission’ then the Magician would kill them. At hearing this, the Raaqi explained that if they turned Muslim they would be allowed to seek refuge in the Masajid- the Shayateen accepted this and left through my leg. I felt a pressure pulse from my head all the way to my toes and afterwards I felt a lightness and ease.
Raaqi peered at me intently and said ‘There’s more of you isn’t there?’. I began to giggle in a girlish sounding voice and said ‘yes there are’. I never normally sound so girly by the way so it felt almost amusing to hear my voice sound so high pitched and child like.
It seemed like I was possessed by multiple Jinn. I’m not sure how to accurately describe it, except that I could feel different personalities emerge inside of me. Each having different emotions, maturity and behaviours. Their voices even sounded different. Some were deep and some were light and childish. The one that surfaced now giggled a lot and acted coy. It seemed like a female jinn. The Raaqi repeated the same process as before and again, it ‘seemed’ like the jinn left again. Then a ‘new’ jinn appeared and the Raaqi did the same process again. This happened for a total of seven times. Seven times! It’s just madness.
Now I do want to point out that there is a commonly known mental disorder call DID (Disassociative Identity Disorder) that has very similiar symptoms to one who is possessed. DID is characterised by the ‘presence of two or more distinct or split identities or personality states that continually have power over the person’s behavior’. It can stem from experiencing extreme trauma, abuse and/or neglect in childhood. Now the tough question here is- who is really possessed and who suffers a psychological disorder? It is honestly hard to differentiate because the inner workings of the mind, personality and soul are part of the unseen. Allah Knows best. A general rule of thumb would be to check yourself medically and by mental professionals first then also have Ruqya done by a trust Raaqi or do Ruqya yourself and look out for abnormal sympotoms that can’t be explained medically.
Anyway, looking back at my situation now, I believe that I was possessed by one Jinn, who was trying to fool me and others into believing that there were multiple Jinn inside me. I have learnt with time and experience that Shayateen lie a lot and love to scare us by acting more powerful than they are and making it seem like your situation is worse than it is. I believe that this Jinn never really left my body in the Ruqya session but was pretending to. Why? Because it simply could. They are the creation of the unseen so why wouldn’t they try to fool us if they get a chance? Shayateen hate us. Plus, if they pretend to leave then it’s more likely that we won’t recite as much anymore. So they can continue to possess us without burning. My sincere advise would be to never listen to the Jinn. They are such creatures of the Unseen that they will make a fool of you and lie to you in ways to that you cant imagine.
So afterwards, the Raaqi recited over me again and the Jinn left again. I felt light. I felt clear. I felt like myself again Alhamdullilah. I was relieved and elated as I thought I was cured! Thank God this is over! I rushed back into the room with a huge smile where my sister and other women sat. I thanked the Raaqi and he smiled in relief. He continued reciting for the others while I watched from the side. Everyone else were still possessed including my sister so they were reacting to the Quran. No one else’s Jinn spoke aloud however. some sisters were quietly growling.
After the Ruqya session my sister and I discussed what had happened as we drove home. We were so relieved that the Jinn had left me which had given my sister great hope of being cured as well. It was lovely to feel so light and free again; I felt no presence of jinn or any anxious feeling. I was elated. We went to a few more Ruqya sessions , mainly for my sister and on the third session- she began to growl and make angry noises. She sounded evil. Instantly I could tell that it wasn’t my sister anymore. Whatever was inside of her screamed ‘stop saying those words, you dont know who I am. I am an ifreet’. At the time I didn’t know what an Ifreet was but from the litle research I found on Ifreets it is said to be a stronger type of jinn/Shaytan. Allah Knows Best.
After an hour of Ruqya, nothing much else progressed. The Raaqi had to return back to London as he was only visiting our area for a few weeks. We felt greatly disheartened because this affliction seemed overwhelming and beyond us. We were just young girls with no one older or more knowledgeable to help or guide us. The Raaqi said to keep reciting and to look for a more local practitioner and that was that. From a local Islamic bookstore we bought a small Ruqya booklet which we begun to recite every day. We felt burning sensations in our arms but nothing as significant as the reactions we felt during the Ruqya sessions with the Raaqi. We felt what we were doing wasn’t enough and that we needed a real Raaqi to help us.
This is a very common feeling that I have noticed afflicted patients experience. That our own Ruqya is insufficient and we need someone else to recite for us. Now years later, I personally believe that Self Ruqya can be the most powerful thing- once you believe in yourself and off course your trust in Allah’s Guilding Help.
To be continued.